I Will Always Love You...

Death is one of the many mysteries of life I have been unable to understand till date...It comes unexpectedly, like a sudden slap in your face, and when it does, it manages to leave a permanent mark on your heart...a mark that will not be erased by the passage of time...a mark that will remind you each day of your life what you have lost...

This year the world lost one of its most precious possessions...and I lost one of my dearest friends...

She was one of the most beautiful people I have ever met in my entire life, and I believe one of the most beautiful people I ever will meet...
It wasn't merely her physical appearance, her contagious smile, or her deep brown eyes that made her so beautiful...it was her heart, and the love she showed to each and every creature on earth, be it her fellow human beings, plants, animals, or even the tiniest insects most people would be disgusted at, that made her so astonishingly beautiful...She loved them all equally...

When I met her for the first time, I was immediately struck by the amount of joy and positivity surrounding her...she was always smiling, always laughing, seeming so carefree, just so full of life...It didn't take me long to grow fond of her and soon become extremely attached to her...
Her tremendous knowledge amazed me, and it sometimes made me wonder whether I was really just wasting my life away...I learnt a lot from her...not just in terms of knowledge, but more importantly about life...

Her caring nature towards every living creature was truly amazing...I remember the first day we met, I was freaked out about a grasshopper and spider occupying the bathroom, and hence did not want to use it...She immediately calmed me down, telling me it's nothing to worry about and that they, like us, were just small creatures on earth, probably more afraid of me than I was of them...She said she would "get rid" of them, which in my terminology so far had meant, "kill " them...However, what I saw then was something I will never forget my entire life...She caught both the spider and grasshopper in her bare hands, walked through the room, out to the front door, and placed them in a nearby bush...All I could do then was stand by and watch...                  
I didn't know it then, but as I was watching, she probably taught me one of the most important lessons of life: "Love and treat all creatures equally". I now think twice, even thrice, before attempting to kill an insect, and most of the times follow her example of simply getting "rid" of them in her way...I never would have thought about it then, but she did to a certain extent help me get over my phobia of insects, especially spiders, just by that one simple, caring act...

She was a girl loved by many, but also at times envied by many...I believe this was due to her ability to stand up for her beliefs, no matter what other people said. She would always defend her opinion when she was in the right...At the same time she would, however, let other people voice their opinions, hear them out, and act accordingly...This is one of the most amazing qualities she possessed..her ability to listen and not to judge you based on other's beliefs...Throughout our friendship, I never once feared that she would judge me without hearing me out first...She would always be there to listen to my side of the story, and most of the times, we thought alike...She taught me how to stand up for myself, and for the right...and to believe in myself even when no one else did...something I will forever be grateful to her for...

She was a truly gifted girl, her talents varied from music to art and literature...she excelled them all..I could look at her drawings for hours a day, and just admire the idea and creativity stemming from them...ideas I would have never thought of before...It was like she could see things that others found impossible to see at first glance...Her imagination was incredible, and at the same time inspiring and worth thinking about...
Reading was one of her big passions...she read and read, endlessly, for hours at once...and she just wouldn't stop..I was amazed seeing her read through so many books in such limited time, even when we had loads of other work...but she'd always find the time and peace to follow what she loved...                                           In today's world, where time passes by so quick, like clouds skimming through a clear blue sky, I feel she did the right thing by taking time out for the things she loved...This is something many of us fail to do...We do not realise that our time on earth is limited, and that tomorrow is promised to no one...Before we realise it, our time might be over, and we'll be left with so many things undone, so many words unspoken, and so many dreams unfulfilled...

I know now as I always knew then that she could have achieved anything she set her mind and heart to...cause she had it all...the talent, the courage, the ability, and most importantly a beautiful heart to guide her through it all...She would never give up, even when placed in the most adverse condition I could still see her showing so much positivity, so much courage, it was just unbelievable for me at times...She'd always be there to lift you up when you were feeling down, and make sure to tell you that everything was going to be alright, no matter how hard to believe it was at that particular time...And most of the times, this is what got me through a lot of my gloomy days...

I will always remember her for being one of the most amazing people with one of the most amazing and truthful hearts...In today's world, where everyone is not what you think they are, disguising their true faces through lies and stories, I consider myself lucky to have found a person like her...with a heart so true, so pure, and so beautiful...I believe she truly was an angel, sent to us to teach us some of the most valuable lessons about life, yet taken back way too soon...

The last time I met her, she gifted me a red bracelet, a bracelet she herself had too...and she said to me "This one's for you. I have the same one. I want you to have it and every time you look at it, I want you to remember me. It's so you never forget me...!" I still remember the smile on her face when she said those very lines...Although I didn't need a bracelet to remind me of her, never did I know then how meaningful those lines would become, how much they would affect me now, and how much that small red bracelet would mean to me for the rest of my life...

Today, I wish I had been given the chance to stand by her and tell her that everything was going to be alright when she was going through some of the most painful days of her life... I wish I could have been there for her, like she had always been there for me...I wish I had just been given the chance to see her beautiful smile, I wish I had been given the chance to tell her how much I loved her and how much she meant to me...I wish I had been given the chance to bid her good bye before she left....but life had other plans, and I never did get those chances...

I love you so much T and I always will...now and forever...
I know you're still out there, somewhere, watching over all of us...smiling, and lighting up heaven with your beautiful smile...

I miss you each and every second of my life and if I had just one wish I'd bring you back again...

Love you forever,

A
xx

Fading Away

The strength to survive is one of the most gifted qualities possessed by us human beings...and although it is naturally present in each individual human being, only some of us are able to find it and utilize its true power...

In today's world, if you can find the strength to withstand the most adverse conditions, or the strength to overcome the pain of separation or the loss of a loved one, the strength to walk away from the things that bother you the most, the strength to stand up for your rights, the strength to voice your own opinion, the strength to leave people you love behind, knowing they're no good for you, the strength to believe in yourself when everyone else has lost hope in you, the strength to keep on fighting, and most important of all the strength to remain strong even after having been made so weak over the passage of time....only then, can you consider yourself rich and truly successful.

Having found this strength, you possess something many human beings struggle their entire life to find...

You possess the key towards leading the life you are entitled to...

Cause from strength arises more than just success...

Strength gives you the ability to love, to hope, to believe, to move on, and most importantly, to survive...

The search for this strength is one of the most difficult ones you may encounter in your life...

It is uncertain whether you find it or not...

Some may give up...

Some may continue till they find it...

Yet others might never find it at all...

I watch my strength slowly fading away...like a cloud passing by on a cool summer day...gone in a flash...

Knowing I am unable to do anything to keep it...

It fades a little more with every passing day....every passing hour....and every passing second...

Yet I hope that it won't be too late to rescue at least a tiny part of what had once been mine....

I still believe in strength, though it might be almost gone... 

And I hope that that belief will help me bring back what I, just like every other human being, is entitled to possess and use to its fullest....

A

xx

Sometimes A Song Can Say It All...

The dawn is breaking,

A light shining through.

You're barely waking,

And I'm tangled up in you, yeah...

I'm open, you're closed,

Where I follow, you'll go...

I worry I won't see your face,

Light up again...

Even the best fall down sometime,

Even the wrong words seem to rhyme.

Out of the doubt that fills my mind,

I somehow find you and I collide...

I'm quiet you know,

You make a first impression...

I've found I'm scared to know,

I'm always on your mind...

Even the best fall down sometimes,

Even the stars refuse to shine...

Out of the back you fall in time,

I somehow find you and I collide...

Don't stop here...

I lost my place...

I'm close behind...

Even the best fall down sometimes,

Even the wrong words seem to rhyme...

Out of the doubt that fills your mind,

You finally find you and I collide...

You finally find you and I collide...

You finally find you and I collide...                                 

Collide- by Howie Day

A

xx

No Good

Have you ever had that feeling of being completely lost?

The feeling of complete and utter loneliness even with a million people around you?

The feeling of disappointment in whatever you do?

The feeling when you know you're never gonna be good enough, no matter how hard you try?

The feeling of getting hurt no matter which path you chose?

Or hurting someone along this path? Someone you love too much to afford losing?

Searching for a way to overcome all those feelings? A way to escape it all?

To find the right answers to the many questions in your mind?

A light to guide you towards the right path?

Well, that search is infinite...


Life is a maze, a riddle, a mystery to be solved by each one of us in our own way...The right answer does not exist, there is no "answer" to life...
There is no right or wrong...it's all in your belief...What you believe to be right, might not be right for others and vice versa...
But does that mean you don't follow what you believe is right because others might believe it to be wrong?
Do you base your judgements on the feelings or beliefs of others? Do you compromise your own happiness for the sake of what others believe to be right?

You don't...
It's all in your hands...you are responsible for your own happiness...
Life is given to each individual walking this earth...
Life is in fact the only sole possession you have until death...it's yours and always will be...
Do not base your decisions on others beliefs...
It's your life and you are entitled to live it the way you believe is right for you...
Follow your heart...
Respect other people's beliefs and feelings, but don't make them the basis of your own decisions...

People come and go, only a few stay forever...
And those "few" are hard to find...
The world is a selfish place,
Everyday is a battle...
A battle with life,
A battle with yourself,
And with others...
But most importantly a battle to create your own life...
You gotta struggle to survive...
You gotta accept the fact that you are on your own..
Always were...
And always will be...
In the end, it's you who makes the difference to your life...

"Life is like a battlefield,
You're just one of the many soldiers...
Everyday is a war,
And you gotta fight this war, there's no escape.
You will hurt people on the way,
And people will hurt you...
But that doesn't mean you stop fighting.
You have to continue
Day in and day out.
And in the end, when you look back at your life,
You won't merely be a "survivor,
but a "fighter"...
A fighter for what you believe is right,
Regardless of what other people think or feel.
Cause in the end, that's all that matters,
Your own happiness..."                                                                                                                            -Courtesy to one of my best friends, a truly amazing human being.
Thank you

A
xx

The Value of Time

They say there’s always a right time for everything in life..a right age is probably one of the more commonly used terms...So yeah, there’s a right time for everything. There’s the time when you first start to walk, probably when you’re just about a year or two old, the time when you first go to kindergarten and the world still seems like a miniature playground, the time when you first start school and are surrounded by friends, formulae, mean teachers and tons of homework, and the time of high school where you’re probably going through the everyday drama of a teenager’s life (tiffs with teachers, your first crush, prom!). Then comes the time of college or University, the more “serious” side of life so far, eventually the time of earning your own bread to survive, the time when you give your heart away to someone for eternity, the time when your first child is born, and so on and forth...But is there really a “right time” for everything? And can you really know when the time is “right”? How can you even define what the “right time” and “wrong time” is? 

Your life is made up of a million of bygone seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, and years. It carries important moments with it, moments that might seem to you too trivial to even remember now, yet might have constituted an important part of your present being.                                                                             

Do you remember the one moment in your life that changed it all for you? Was it the time you got accepted into a prestigious University, or the time you first realized you were in love? Was it the time you had your first real success, or the time you felt your first true loss? There are so many moments in your life that pass you by without you actually realizing their true value until one day you sit back and ponder about which moment it was that changed it all..and you would be amazed at how difficult it is pointing out just “one” of those many moments and saying “This is it, this is the moment that changed it all for me.”. 

So value each and every moment of your life, you never know, it might be life altering, even if you are unable to see it instantaneously.

Truth be told, life is uncertain and hazy, a series of fleeting pictures drawn together by a mixture of emotions and time, and so is every day you spend on earth. People often say, “Life changes in the blink of an eye”, and I used to firmly stand against this since for me life had been the same monotonous routine for many years. It was only when one of my very close friend died that I realized the truth behind that statement. It literally took place in the blink of an eye, one moment she was there, and the next she was just gone... Grief struck and saddened by her sudden demise, I wondered how such things could possibly happen and my mind was filled with infinite questions. Why her? Why now?  Why so soon? Why did I not get a chance to even say goodbye? Why? ...

However, in spite of all the pain this terrible loss has caused me, I think I did learn some valuable and life altering lessons that very day. Lessons I will remember for the rest of my life, lessons that will now become the foundation of my entire life... It dawned upon me then that moments are the most precious possession human beings can hold in this world.  

They’re the only thing permanent in your life, the only thing that doesn’t change when everything else around you changes. They’re the foundation of your entire life, sort of like your inner mental skeleton. Every single one of them is equally precious, and should be valued. I realized also that day that tomorrow is promised to no one and that your time on earth is limited, even more limited than you might actually think... cause the truth is, you never really know how long your stay on planet earth is booked for... Life is uncertain and it does change in the blink of an eye, the moment of a short smile, or even the glimpse of a shooting star in the night sky...

Another important thing I realized that day was the uncertainty of time itself. When you think of time, you always think of all the minutes and seconds you still have to spend, it gives you a sense of duration, a sense of stay, a sense of belonging, and a sense of permanence. But what happens when this sense of time is suddenly ripped away from you? What happens when you are suddenly unable to define an exact time period? It’s scary, isn’t it, the thought of not being able to define time... Thinking about this, I realized that there might never be a “right” time, or for that matter of fact, even a “wrong” time. “Right” and “wrong” just seem to disappear when you think of the uncertainty of time, your time on earth.

In the past two months, I have therefore laid less value on time and it being “right” or “wrong”, cause I know that it’s an uncertainty no one can ever tell you. The loss of my friend proved it all...time can never be “right” or “wrong”, it can be prescribed, but it still will never be the absolute truth. Time, like life, is indecisive and unpredictable, and I want to believe in this from hence onwards... I want to believe in living for the moment, for the present, cause these are the moments that will make your life count...                                                           So for all of you out there who are wondering whether this is the “right” time to perhaps take a step forward, or backward, make certain decisions, fall in love, take the job, or simply do nothing, I would say “Just do it!” Don’t wait for the “right” time to come, ‘cause it might never come and you might end up waiting forever.   Live for the moment. Follow your heart. Make decisions you feel are right and most of all trust that it is all going to work out alright in the end.

A

xx

The Cravings of the Heart

The other day while waiting at the doctor's I came across a pretty interesting article while flipping through the pages of a magazine.
The article was about women, or for that matter of fact human beings in general, tending to be in love with more than one person at the same time.According to studies conducted  by researchers of different Universities, the human mind and heart especially are programmed in such a way that they posses an innate search for things that are missing in their current relationship. These missing qualities can vary tremendously, ranging from trust, to happiness, to understanding, to just having someone who enjoys your kind of music. Having found the missing parts in someone else automatically instigates us to feel a certain bond towards that person, a bond that can become so strong that it is equivalent to the love we feel for our current partner. In other words, we start developing that same feeling of love, sympathy, and attraction towards this new person.

Now, I know that it's a well known fact that the heart wants what it wants, but I wonder if loving two people at the same time won't generate this immense feeling of guilt every time we are with either one of our partners. Won't we feel like we are betraying them, or even betraying ourselves? If our feelings for someone are real, why do we still seek the company and love of another? Are we not defying the laws of monogamy? Are we not going against the laws laid down when we promise each other eternal security "till death do us part"? All these questions arose in my mind the first time I read the article.

However, I was amazed at the amount of married people, even people who had children and grandchildren, who openly admitted in this article that they were having a sort of "affair", if I may call it that way, alongside their married life. Even more interesting was the fact that neither of them considered it a mistake, or let alone even feel bad about it. On the contrary, they felt HAPPY about it, and described it as being the "perfect life". They said it gave them an opportunity to live the best of both worlds.

At that moment I began to wonder. In this world, where our time is defined by no one, and tomorrow is promised to none, should we consider it an act of shame loving more than one person at a time? Should we just watch opportunities pass us by or grab them as they come, even though it might not be an acceptable decision for others? Or should we follow our heart and live our life satisfied and happy, the way we would like? Is it even true that we are bound to be with someone for the rest of our lives? Or is there someone out there, someone we don't know about, someone we might never even get to know, who we are meant to be with and never will? Does a single, perfect soulmate and partner even exist? I wonder...

A
xx

And it begins!

So,I've been wanting to start a blog since a quite a while now but never got up to actually doing it..when I think about it now, I don't really know why I've been delaying it all this while..I was probably too unsure about how it would be viewed by others.

I think blogging is a fantastic way of expressing yourself,sharing your thoughts as well as other stuff with other people, and just giving your feelings their own place to dwell around..Many of my friends have blogs and I always find it amazing reading their posts..besides merely giving you an insight into their thoughts, you also get to learn a lot of valuable things and come across some brilliant ideas.

I'm sure I'm gonna enjoy blogging and I hope you guys will enjoy reading it :)

A
xx